what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
