This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
