Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize