Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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