k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
