i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
