I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
