I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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