I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just invented taco cereal.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize