I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
