Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
