he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
