Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
