Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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