I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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