I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
