So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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