ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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