My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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