You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize