Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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