eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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