physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
