I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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