Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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