im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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