I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
