Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
