So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize