I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
