I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
