you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I could fuck to npr.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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