so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You can't just leave with hair like that
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
