I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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