If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
