dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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