whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
