NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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