people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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