Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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