I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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