It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
