Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
