Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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