I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
