If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
