Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish you could order shots online.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
