just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
