haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
