put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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