A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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