You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
