i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
