I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
