dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She bit a glass in half.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
