FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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