I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it glows. i had to have it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
